Thursday, 9/1

I have to be completely honest and tell you that I am sitting here staring at the computer screen and I feel like it's last February. This is a scary time and I just don't know what to say to all of you who have been so supportive of our little trooper. He's having a hard time.

Last night he had a very big episode that was reminiscent of the early days. They finally got him stable and he stayed okay throughout the night. However this morning things have continued to be rough. It seems to be a vicious cycle. He is VERY upset about the tube being in his throat again, which causes him to bear down, which hurts his incision, which causes him pain, which makes his airway collapse, which makes them give him more pain meds, because he's in pain, that makes it harder for him to breathe, because he's so sedated...and so on.

His surgeon has been around several times this morning and seems to feel that the best thing to do is to get him extubated, take the tube out. But it's hard because he can't be so sedated that he won't breathe, but we also have to manage his pain. So I think they're just going to try and keep him comfortable throughout the day and try and extubate him in the morning.

I want my baby back. I think all of us are just longing for that smile.

Michelle was here with him until well after 10 last night so if you're reading this Michelle, GO BACK TO BED!